


Everything

by kalothetic



Series: Stray Kids Random Stories [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Like it has a happy end ya know, M/M, Not beta read we die like women, chanlix are comforting, hyunin are cute, minsung are mentioned, sorta based on jinyoung and hyunjin being hella close during isac, the rest are oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 14:31:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20244397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalothetic/pseuds/kalothetic
Summary: Hyunjin was and still is everything to Jeongin. And for a few months, Jeongin felt like he was everything to Hyunjin too. But now it feels like Hyunjin has so many things, it's hard to be his everything.





	Everything

He's overthinking. Right? 

That's definitely the case. Right? 

He's just.. Tired. And his brain is pulling tricks on him, making him feel like this. That's it. Yeah. That's it. Nothing more to it. Right? They've been practicing a lot for their upcoming comeback. That's it. That's all there is to it. Right?! 

But... If that's the case then why does his heart hurt so much? If that's the case then why does Hyunjin keep drifting further out of reach?

They weren't like this.

Hyunjin used to cling to him all the time, pepper kisses on every spot he could reach, whisper in his ear how much he loved him, hold his hand and play with his hair, sleep on his shoulder and sneak into his room to sleep on the same bed with him, look after him and make sure he's okay, worry about him and get overprotective, carry an extra waterbottle around so he can stay hydrated and remind him to eat more, dry his hair with a towel when he comes out of the shower, tickle him to turn his frown upside down, cuddle up to him to keep him warm on cold nights, and so much, so much more. Hyunjin was and still is everything to Jeongin. And for a few months, Jeongin felt like he was everything to Hyunjin too. But now it feels like Hyunjin has so many things, it's hard to be his everything.

Maybe the others noticed it, noticed how he'd pick at his food before saying he's full and leaving the table. Noticed how he doesn't laugh as much whenever they're watching a bad kdrama. Noticed how he doesn't talk much in lives anymore. Noticed how his energy is lacking during their dances. Noticed how he's been sleeping less because his mind won't stop running. Noticed how his smile lost it's brightness that they all loved and so did his fans.

Or maybe they didn't, because none of them mention it, maybe he's just that good at pretending he's okay or maybe they just don't care.

He doesn't want to think badly of his teammates, he's just upset. He knows they usually notice. They noticed when Felix was upset because he was feeling homesick a few weeks ago and they all didn't stop until he felt better, they noticed when Woojin was upset a month ago because he missed his family and they stayed by his side offering their support and comfort until his mood lifted, and so many other times they noticed each other's change in mood. Maybe the only reason they didn't notice Jeongin's is because now they're stressed over their comeback, they have to offer everything they have. He's certain if they were still on break, they would have noticed.

Hyunjin noticed.

And he didn't do anything about it.

"You seem upset" his boyfriend had stated. Not bothering to ask if he's alright.

"Yeah, I am" he had replied, confirming that he's indeed upset.

Hyunjin simply nodded and turned his attention away from Jeongin. "Happens to the best of us" he said, and then said nothing else after it.

What changed? What suddenly happened? Is it Jeongin's fault? Is it Hyunjin's fault? Is it someone else's fault? Why was he his boyfriend one day and the next a stranger?

He hasn't heard an 'I love you' in almost two weeks, or gotten a kiss, or even a hug. Fans started saying their ship is dead, they don't know this ship is an actual relationship but even the fans could see their relationship is dying. But why?

Jeongin wants to talk to Hyunjin about it, but where should he start? What should he ask? He wants to vent to one of the other members, but what should he say? What is his problem?

This.

This is his problem.

This whole situation.

He tried to be the one to initiate something, hoping to get a hint that everything is okay. He tried wrapping his arms around Hyunjin's waist from behind like he usually would, telling him 'I love you'. He got an awkward pat on his arm, then Hyunjin squirmed out of his grip and replied with 'yeah, thanks'. Oblivious to how Jeongin's heart shattered into a million pieces, or maybe he did it on purpose.

Maybe he's doing all of this on purpose, to indirectly tell him this relationship is over. That he wants nothing to do with Jeongin anymore. It hurts. It hurts so much. Why would he do this? What has Jeongin done to him?

He didn't know what to do, except drown in his own thoughts.

~×~

Chan is many things. He's strong, he's reliable, he's a leader, he's supportive, he's smart, he's many things. 'Blind' and 'An idiot' are not on that list.

He can see when things start changing, and when his group members start acting different towards one another. He was here by Jeongin's side when he was struggling with a hopeless crush on Hyunjin and he's what gave him enough strength to believe there's a chance it could happen, and it did.

He was here watching every step of their relationship progress forward, but now it seems like it's going backwards. He can't quite remember when things went wrong or what suddenly made Hyunjin seem like he wanted to be 3 countries away Jeongin, his so called beloved boyfriend.

It may have been when they attended ISAC, 3 weeks ago.

ISAC.  
Idol Stars Athletic Championship.  
It was their first time attending the event, and despite the fact that they weren't too enthusiastic about being woken up and dragged to do sports at 6 am, they were still excited for the idea itself. They went and it was so much fun, sure, they came back ready to sleep themselves into a coma and hungry as hell despite the scattered snacks they ate throughout the event, they still felt accomplished and happy. They even won a few challenges and Jisung wouldn't shut up about winning the Zoning Out challenge. He got a medal for breathing, big deal.

But ever since they came back, Hyunjin's been acting different, specifically towards Jeongin.

But the thing is Chan can't pinpoint what happened at ISAC that could have caused this sudden drastic change, he kept racketing through his brain trying to remember, but he ends up with nothing. They were together the whole time only separating when they do challenges, but even then they're still in sight.

Chan let out a loud groan and set his head down on the table gently, not wanting to end up provoking a headache that would surely kill him during dance practice.

Felix was sitting across from one, a lollipop in his mouth as his attention was on some game he was playing on his phone. "What's the matter?" he asked with not much interest, thinking it's probably nothing that important and his attention still on his game.

"Remember when we went to ISAC?" Chan asked, voice muffled by his arms that he had wrapped around his own head now, still slammed down on the table.

"Mhm" came a monotonous reply.

"Did Hyunjin do anything weird?" Chan was certain he didn't word that correctly and it wouldn't get through to Felix how he wants it to. He could hear the slight noise coming from Felix's game come to a halt and his phone get placed down on the table so he's glad he at least got his full attention now.

"What do you mean 'weird'?" the blonde boy in front of him asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Chan lifted his head up and looked him in the eyes as he tried to think of how to word it.

"Have you noticed he's been acting weird towards Jeongin lately?" he tried asking from a different angle, Felix snorted. "What is it with you and the word 'weird' today?" he joked, resulting in Chan playfully rolling his eyes. "Just answer the question Felix!" he said, trying to sound stern but his smile gave it away. It always did around Felix.

Felix's expression turned into a thoughtful one as he tried to remember the events involving Hyunjin at ISAC. His face lit up suddenly and he snapped his fingers.

"OH! He spent half the time with his friend from another group, remember? As soon as we arrived he saw him and they were joined by the hips since then. They've also been texting a lot since" Felix said, and Chan was yet again feeling absolutely grateful having this tiny aussie by his side because this had completely slipped his mind, but it was definitely the answer he was looking for.

"That's it! That's exactly it! Oh my God Felix I could kiss you right now!" He exclaimed standing up from his chair with excitement, he looked so happy you'd think he won some noble prize, but this meant he could try fixing what's going on with Hyunjin and Jeongin so to him it was more important than winning any prize really. His team and their happiness is his most treasured prize.

Felix smirked up at him. "Well nothing's stopping you, mate" he said in English, and suddenly the air was so thick it was hard to breath. Or maybe that's just how Chan felt because he's so weak for those eyes, especially when they stare at him like that.

Felix definitely got his kiss, and a little more.

Hyunjin is gonna get his ass kicked though.

~×~

Chan opened the door to the empty kitchen where he and Felix were, they walked out talking about nothing specific when they saw a teary eyed Jeongin walk past them into his room, keeping his gaze on the floor hoping no one would notice. Chan and Felix noticed, they exchanged a look of concern.

"You take Jeongin, I'll take Hyunjin" Chan said to Felix, who quickly nodded and walked past him in the direction Jeongin went as Chan took a deep breath and prepared himself for the ass beating he's gonna give Hyunjin now.

He walked into the living room where the rest were all sitting and let his gaze fall on every one of them. They all looked back at him in confusion as he was looming over them like death. He looked like an angry mom who told you to clean your room but instead you pushed everything under your bed, not a great experience.

"Is something wrong, Chan?" Woojin broke the awkward silence, looking up at their leader in concern. Chan's gaze was directed to Woojin. "Yes! Something is wrong! But none of you seem to be noticing! Am I supposed to keep doing this myself? Be everyone's therapist at the same time? Contrary to popular belief, this is not a walk-in clinic! And I don't have a degree in human emotions! We're supposed to be a team guys!" he could rant for a year more, really, it felt good to get all that off his chest, and they all look like they suddenly shrunk, they haven't seen Chan so angry in a really long time. He always keeps his composure no matter what, this must be serious.

"We're really sorry about... Whatever we did, really. But what's the issue, Chan?" Changbin said, gesturing for him to sit down. He didn't.

"Where's Hyunjin?" he asked with a sigh, not wanting to stretch this longer than necessary or he might choke somebody. "He's in his room, got a phone call and left a few minutes ago" Han answered, finger pointing in the direction of Hyunjin's room. Chan nodded and walked away, leaving the group to look at each other in concern.

Chan knocked on Hyunjin's door. Once. Twice.

"Come in!" Hyunjin's familiar voice rang throughout the room, muffled only by the door keeping him safe from Chan's wrath right now. Not for long though because WOW doors open.

Chan walked in and slammed the door shut behind him, turning to look at Hyunjin's eyes directly. This Chan screamed serious and dominant. And that could strike fear into anyone's heart. "We need to talk" he said simply. As much as he believes Hyunjin is guilty, he'd rather hear the full story first. He sat down on Seungmin's bed which was across from Hyunjin's and placed his folded hands down on his knees. Hyunjin looked like a child who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Not a good luck for someone already suspected guilty.

"Yes? What's wrong?" Hyunjin asked, awkwardly clearing his throat.

~×~

"I just don't understand!" Jeongin exclaimed through sobs. Felix had his arms wrapped around the youngest and he was rocking him back and forth gently, trying to calm him down and occasionally pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "I know, I know. It's honestly so horrible of him to do this to you, but, maybe there's a reason..?" Felix didn't know if he was trying to comfort Jeongin or himself because he hasn't gave one confident reply since he entered this room, every statement sounding like a question and he's grateful Jeongin hasn't kicked him out yet. He must really need the comfort.

"What reason could he have to treat me like this suddenly?" Jeongin's hand reached over for the tissue box he's been drowning his sadness in since he got in this room, grabbing a tissue and trying to wipe his tears away. He sat up and away from the older boy's comforting hug. Looking at him seriously.

"Do you think he's going to break up with me?" He asked, voice cracking halfway through as more tears started spilling. Felix felt so hurt seeing their precious maknae like this, his smile was always the brightest and he was their happy sunshine. He couldn't stand seeing him so upset and he never wants to see it again.

But to be completely honest, he didn't know how to answer that. He doesn't want to say yes and crush the poor boy even more, and he doesn't want to say no and give him false hope that it's okay. He knows every couple go through tough times, but this was bad. Really bad. 'Tough times' like what happened to Minho and Han a while ago, when they got into a stupid fight because Minho was worrying too much over Han and Han was tired of being treated like a baby by his boyfriend. They made up the very next day. These things are normal and if anything, they make the relationship stronger. He can't imagine if Chan suddenly started acting towards him the way Hyunjin is acting towards Jeongin, just the thought of it is painful enough for Felix, how was Jeongin even keeping strong until now?

"I... Don't know" and for the first time this night, his statement sounded as unsure as it felt. Because he genuinely didn't know. He could only offer comfort for Jeongin right now, and hope that Chan will be able to fix this. He pulled Jeongin into a hug again and although he had stopped crying, it was comforting having someone there for him. He's been alone through this whole situation, he needed this warmth right now.

~×~

"What the hell kind of excuse is that Hyunjin?!" Chan tried not to raise his voice too much, he thought he didn't, but it was loud judging by how Hyunjin winced. He looked guilty. He felt guilty. But at least he's honest, right?

"I'm sorry okay!" Hyunjin yelled back at Chan and he's certain everyone can hear them fighting right now.

"I don't want your apology! Since you're so eager to throw it around, go say it to Jeongin! Your boyfriend, in case you forgot! Because you've been so selfish, it's unbelievable!"

Chan was right and Hyunjin doesn't know why he didn't realize that sooner. He was embarrassed. That's all there is to it. He had recently gotten his friendship with Jinyoung from CIX back on track, since ISAC. His former best friend had a girlfriend now, and the way he talked about her and their relationship seemed so normal. When Hyunjin got asked if he's in a relationship, he panicked, and said no. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have hid his relationship with Jeongin like it's something he should be ashamed of. After they got back, he and Jinyoung started texting more often, he got invited to hang out with the rest of his friends, who all seemed so straight and happy in their straight relationships that Hyunjin felt weird between them. He wouldn't dare say he's into guys too, or that he's dating one. So he just said he wasn't in a relationship at all.

And ever since then he's been distancing himself away from Jeongin, as if he's trying to prove a point to himself. It's selfish. It's horrible. He shouldn't have done it and he feels like shit now that he's called out on it. He needed this slap back to reality. He loved Jeongin, he LOVES Jeongin. And if his friends won't accept that then he doesn't need them.

Right?

But what if word spreads and their relationship gets exposed?

Maybe breaking up is for the best...? The thought of it hurts.

"I'm sorry..." Hyunjin says again, this time softer and on the verge of tears. Unable to even emet Chan's gaze, he looks to the floor.

"I don't want it. If your mindset is going to stay like that, then break up with Jeongin." Chan said, in a tone that was clearly disappointed, and as soon as he heard those words, his eyes went wide and tears stung his vision. He looked up at Chan as if he just told him someone died.

"B-Break up with him..?" he couldn't. He wouldn't. He loves him. He loves him.

"Yes Hyunjin, because you seemed to have forgotten that Jeongin is a human being with feelings, and not a toy you can mess around with when you're bored. He's upset, he's heartbroken, and he's crying his eyes out because of you. So if this is how it's going to continue then you need to break up with him and let him move on. At least, for the sake of our group. This is why we have a dating ban"

And yet again, Chan was right. Hyunjin had been so caught up in his own shame and embarrassment and fear of looking uncool in his cool friends opinion he didn't notice he was hurting someone who genuinely loved him more than anything and that led to damaging their group. He doesn't deserve Jeongin or his love. He doesn't deserve Chan or his guidance. He doesn't deserve this entire group and he can't stop himself from crying now.

Chan had told everyone to take the dating ban seriously because it's there for a reason. Han and Minho didn't, they were the first to break it. They promised they'd keep it lowkey and wouldn't let it affect anything, they're doing a great job up until now. Sure, they fight and bicker over stupid stuff sometimes and there were too many close calls because the two can't help but be affectionate with each other. Then Chan went against his own words when he and Felix got together, he promised he'd at least be the only one to respect the dating ban, but every moment spent with Felix felt like being alive, and it was incredible. He and Woojin helped Hyunjin and Jeongin get together but it seemed this isn't working out for them.

"I can't. I can't break up with him. I-I'm sorry but I can't stand the thought of losing him!" Hyunjin choked out between sobs, as he hid his face in his hands. He didn't want to face Chan already, and now even worse than he's crying.

Chan seemed satisfied, like he had gotten through to Hyunjin. He's certain Felix is doing a good job comforting Jeongin (spoiler alert, he really isn't and he might have started crying along). "Then tell that to him, not me. He needs to hear it more" the blonde haired boy said, opening the door and walking out. He's certain Hyunjin will be out in a minute too.

The rest of the group watched as Chan came out and walked into the kitchen, then the door opened again and a crying Hyunjin came out and walked towards Jeongin's room. What the hell is happening?

Felix was stroking Jeongin's hair, still slightly rocking them back and forth. He had calmed down a lot more. Was that referring to Felix or Jeongin? No idea but there was a lot of ugly crying.

The sound of the door getting knocked made them both look at each other. Felix thought it could be Chan? "Should I open?" Felix whispered to Jeongin, hoping whoever is standing there wouldn't hear. Jeongin nodded, and Felix really didn't bother getting up to open. This was too comfortable.

"Come in!" he shouted which made Jeongin wince, it was way too quiet he had almost gotten used to it.

The door opened and Hyunjin peeked his head in. As soon as Felix saw him, he untangled himself from Jeongin's embrace, and gave him a pat on the back before he got up and walked out past Hyunjin, leaving the two to solve their problem together, they definitely don't need Felix there.

Felix had walked into the kitchen where he saw Chan sitting. Chan looked up at him. "Why do you look like you've been crying?" he asked in genuine confusion. "Shut up, I got emotional okay" Felix answered, grabbing a glass of water and taking it down in one go. He definitely needed that. He tried to ignore Chan laughing at him in the background.

There wasn't much laughter between Jeongin and Hyunjin though.

Hyunjin was still standing by the door awkwardly, fumbling with his thumbs and Jeongin still on the bed, avoiding his gaze.

"Um... Hey..." Hyunjin said, and it hurt to hear his own words because he felt like a stranger meeting Jeongin for the first time, not like his boyfriend who has been in love with him for a year.

"Hi." Jeongin replied without much enthusiasm, that hurt Hyunjin as well. He did this. He ruined his sunshine's happiness.

Hyunjin is going to fix this.

He walked over Jeongin's bed and sat down, as soon as he did, Jeongin moved away to keep a distance between them. Hyunjin felt like he's going to have a heart attack and die before he makes it out of this room. But that hit differently. Jeongin, his Jeongin, always used to instantly curl up into him whenever he sat near him, now he's moving away from him and not even looking him in the face, and it's all Hyunjin's fault. He fucked up. He fucked this up.

He really can't be blamed for crying again, or for pulling Jeongin into the tightest hug he's ever experienced and sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry Innie I'm so sorry, please forgive me please I'm so, so sorry" he kept repeating, apologies muffled by Jeongin's shoulder and his own cries but still reaching through to Jeongin loud and clear. He doesn't want to be easy, he doesn't want to forgive him so fast, but he can't stand the way his heart clenched hearing him cry or how much he missed this embrace. He hugged back tightly, crying for what seemed like the millionth time today.

Hyunjin didn't stop repeating 'I'm sorry', or 'I love you so much', and Jeongin had thought he'd never hear that again. That as soon as he sees Hyunjin again he's going to tell them they're over and he wants nothing to do with him anymore. But it's okay now. It's okay. He's here. He's holding him. He's telling him he loves him. It's okay. They're okay.

"I love you so much, I love you more than anything God you're everything to me. I love you, I love you I love you I love you. I'm so sorry" he's forgiven.

They didn't come out of the room that night, and the rest of the group still didn't know what exactly was going on, but Chan and Felix weren't too worried, they needed this time alone together and they're probably just holding onto each other because they realized how important they are to each other. They'll see them again tomorrow, their bright smiles back on their faces, and everything will be okay again. Especially for Hyunjin and Jeongin.

Because they are each other's everything, so if the others happy, then everything is okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated <3


End file.
